Transference of merit is giving, specifically. If one wants to give the merit to oneself, on need not say anything. There is no need to say ‘let me be rich, let me be good, let me be free from debt.’ If you make merit you will be rich anyway. You are the one who does it, so, you are the one who gets. There is no need to mention the name when you give it to your parents. When the child makes merit and attains wisdom, the parent also receive it because the are close to you. Parents are within you. the more merit you make the more it reaches your parents. If you have your own child, who is good and wise, you are automatically pleased. There is no need to say anything.
The word is n~a~taka~nan~ca and means to ‘all relatives.’ Whoever is your kin will receive it. Even kin from your past existence, not this existence, also receives it. If you know someone and you like each other, united, acquainted, understand each other and help or depend on each other; then it is called n~a~taka~nan~ca. Kin from all places is combined.
Sometimes, someone may not be your relative in this existence. But you do not know whether he has been in your relative in a previous existence or not. If you happen to like each other, thinking the same thing, you may have been relatives in the past existence. Since you have been apart for a long time, just re-united, you may have a vague memory. But you can still be relatives according to the above meaning. The relation of husband and wife in the past existence can be applied in the same way.
If you were not relatives in the past, but you support each other now, you can be relatives in the future.
Written by Phra Dhepsinghupacariya
“There is no need to say let me be rich. Let me be good. Let me be free from debt. If you make merit, you will be rich anyway. You are the one who does it. So, you are the one who gets.”
I like this alot. Most importantly, you forgot “let me be happy”. There is an Abraham Lincoln quote that relates to this. If you decide to be in a good mood, don’t let anyone stop you.
May your 2010 be happy and prosperous.
Chris
Hi Chris and a happy and prosperous 2010 for you and yours too!
“Happy” is defined by our individual life situation but we all know when we’re hurting and what causes us pain. We gain knowledge about how other sentient beings might feel through our experience of personal pain and it’s through those experiences that it’s possible to develop loving kindness. By maintaining a sincere heart while we perform generous acts of kindness for others we can ease their pain as well as our own. Someone who never experiences pain doesn’t really relate well to others, so, we shouldn’t feel all that bad about what we consider unlucky happenings in our life because it’s teaching us what a kindness would be, although it takes some mental training to begin to look at life that way. At the same time, to ignore and not become aware of problems is not an answer to them either.
While I’ve not read it I like the premise of the Dalai Lama’s book, “The Art of Happiness” (the first in a series of five books he’ll write about happiness) and how to find it:
1. The purpose of life is happiness.
2. Happiness is determined more by the state of one’s mind than by one’s external conditions, circumstances, or events—at least once one’s basic survival needs are met.
3. Happiness can be achieved through the systematic training of our hearts and minds, through reshaping our attitudes and outlook.
4. The key to happiness is in our own hands.
You’re right, we don’t need to say ‘let me be happy’ during prayer or when we’re doing a good deed as our positive thoughts and actions will bring us the joy we seek from the inside out.